sigerson | The oracle has spoken!

Public Service Announcement:
Someone left their very nice black coat here, hooded, Forecaster size 8--any takers?

And now...

Q:How did the evening end?
A:With a whimper and a bang.
Q:How would you like to die?
A:I'm unclear on the details, but pudding was involved.
Q:How was Bill Cosby paid for his last speaking appearance?

Q:What's involved in a game of strip poker?
A: Breasts, ass, and the Ace of Spades.
Q: What's the best hand in Arkansas Hold 'Em?

Q: Where does one stock times of day in a supermarket?
A: Next to the peas!
Q: Where do you live these days?
A: I moved my box out back behind the CVS at the MGH stop. It's really nice.
Q: What kind of accommodations were arranged for the Yankees?

A: The blood of innocent squirrels!
Q: When a Klingon drives, what is his objective?
A: Speed, honor, and cool light trails.
Q: What are the three best things about watching movies with your friends on drugs?

Q: Where will you exile yourself to if the Bush wins again?
A: I'd abandon Middle-Earth and head west with the really hot elves.
Q: What are you going to do when the Rapture arrives?
A: Celebrate by sexing up my tractor.

A: In Mike's pants.
Q: Where may I at last achieve Buddha-Nature?
A: I hear that's one of the last abilities you get as a necromancer in Diablo II.
Q: What is "Rain of Flaming Leper Zombies?"

Q: Does this meter take quarters?
A: No, for no quarter will be given.
Q: Why can't I crash at your place tonight?

A: Scott, Mike, and a two-ton dolphin-safe whale.
Q: Who likes bacon, ham, and nothing else?
A: Mr. Snuffles, the cannabilistic pig.
Q: Who would George Bush name to a vacant Supreme Court seat?
A: VOLTRON!

Q: I'd like to do something with high ideals that will waste my time. Any ideas?
A: You could always give every child in America a puppy.
Q: How can I spread happiness?
A: Let's start with your legs.
Q: Would you like an appetizer before the main course?

Q: What's a good way to remember where you put your keys?
A: Nailing them to your leg.
Q: What's the best way to protect your wife and kids?
A: Trinitrotoluene. (TNT)

Q: What's this delicious turkey stuffing made of?
A: BABIES.
Q: What are you so afraid of?