This morning I had my very first "everything is going horribly wrong with the class I teach" dreams. Students didn't show up, I wasted lecture time, it was both too long and too short...whoof.
Yeah, I'd like to do without more of those, please.
However, it will also involve the laptop exploding the overhead projector, nakedness of the non-Robert Pattinson variety, and a small troupe of singing ants.
I was having those years after I finished grad school (although in my case they were "everything wrong in grad rehearsal" dreams.) So even if you stopped teaching today, you'd probably still have them. I'M HELPING TOO!
You know you needed at *least* one to get the Merit Badge, right? I mean, you can't become a fully fledged Mad Professora without a complete sash of Merit Badges.
Alright, i've talked with my people and here are the options we're willing to give you:
First, you can keep having these dreams. They'll eventually get worse, but more infrequent. Standard academic nightmare fare.
Alternately, we can kill the dreams. The price of this, however, is having that stuff actually happen in reality. Possibly all at once, possibly stretched over a while. Some of the particulars may happen more than once (I say "possibly" and "may" as though we don't already have the schedule drawn up. Heh. Of course we do, but standard nondisclosure arrangements require me to couch any descriptions in such language. You understand.).
So, yeah, that's your dilemma, not mine. When you make your decision, fill in your 27/D standard Nightmare Alteration Request form and send or fax it to your account representative. All changes should be finalized within 6-8 cycles of time of receipt.
Oh, and i'm not really supposed to say this, but technically i can get away with dispensing advice from our FAQ: Pregnant women should be aware that they run the risk of "oneiric percolation events". In other words, if your lecture runs a bit long, and suddenly the classroom walls are glowing, pulsing red flesh, well that's a whole separate issue. You may want to look into the appropriate W27 form for remedy.
Thank you for your patronage. We know you have a choice in dream providers, and we do appreciate you subconsciously choosing us. Have pleasant dreams.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-06-22 12:03 pm (UTC)I'M HELPING
no subject
Date: 2010-06-22 01:24 pm (UTC)You've been warned.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-22 01:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-22 01:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-22 01:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-22 02:22 pm (UTC);)
no subject
Date: 2010-06-22 05:00 pm (UTC)First, you can keep having these dreams. They'll eventually get worse, but more infrequent. Standard academic nightmare fare.
Alternately, we can kill the dreams. The price of this, however, is having that stuff actually happen in reality. Possibly all at once, possibly stretched over a while. Some of the particulars may happen more than once (I say "possibly" and "may" as though we don't already have the schedule drawn up. Heh. Of course we do, but standard nondisclosure arrangements require me to couch any descriptions in such language. You understand.).
So, yeah, that's your dilemma, not mine. When you make your decision, fill in your 27/D standard Nightmare Alteration Request form and send or fax it to your account representative. All changes should be finalized within 6-8 cycles of time of receipt.
Oh, and i'm not really supposed to say this, but technically i can get away with dispensing advice from our FAQ: Pregnant women should be aware that they run the risk of "oneiric percolation events". In other words, if your lecture runs a bit long, and suddenly the classroom walls are glowing, pulsing red flesh, well that's a whole separate issue. You may want to look into the appropriate W27 form for remedy.
Thank you for your patronage. We know you have a choice in dream providers, and we do appreciate you subconsciously choosing us. Have pleasant dreams.